How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
