1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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