We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
