she woke up with a sticky ear
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize