He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
