TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
