Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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