When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
