TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
