I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
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I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
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Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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