I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
