Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
