next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
