So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
