saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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