its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
