No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
