I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
