her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
