But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
