I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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