Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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