he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
this is an emotional support booty call
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
