areolas are like halos for boobs.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
