Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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