summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i believe in u and ur pee
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
