I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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