Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
