my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You are a booty call, not a friend.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Randomize
