bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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