his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize