people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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