He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Text me some of your sweat
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
