He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
