every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
