Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
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2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
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I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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