Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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