Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
