I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
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I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
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He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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