Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
