I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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