I don't think brook has ever known best
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
