He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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