Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
