i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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