And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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