you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
