i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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