Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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