Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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