too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
