im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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