Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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