After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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