Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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