Don't you send me to vm
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
