You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
