Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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